Things have changed.
I'm sure many people undergo various periods of reflection upon their lives which is either curious, lighthearted, sentimental analyses, or deep, philosophical thought. Actually, there's probably another, that more sinister "Why did I do that" routine that I am sure must occur at least once a year for a good majority of people. Nevertheless, it's a process that requires a little time to ourselves, and there is usually a conclusion.
What I have been reflecting on recently has varied extortionately throughout this last week, even this last month. I've been thinking about big questions, small questions, funny things, sad things. There is no chronological sense or pattern to these thoughts, they are spontaneous, perhaps following willfully to my rather chaotic self. Luckily, these 'events' have not been painful frenzies, nor lead to agonizing paranoia or bitterness. Instead, they have lead to a helpful understanding on my personal opinions regarding personal actions and decisions, and personal philosophy and thought. Perhaps this luck has been influenced by a new desire to achieve at least some kind of calm amongst the storm, to avid the recklessness but enjoy the dis-structure desired by a free spirit.
I feel, in order to place a "milestone" upon this new understanding, I should at least share some of it to the public, though I doubt anyone reads this anyway, but even by doing so, it places a unique concrete on the new floor of the castle of creativity. I'm confirming my own understanding by transcribing it into writing that is available for others to potentially read.
Desires
I'll only mention this lightly as it is quite a private affair. I desire happiness, fulfillment and knowledge. I'd like to progress, rather than stick to a mundane routine. A concrete routine is something that I do not desire and cannot accept.
Philosophy and Religion
I am still religious, I am still spiritual. I'm confident in my beliefs, but wish to explore it, maybe write about it sometime. I find forgiveness essential to the core of my beliefs, which include self-forgiveness, and motivation to do good and progress. I stress I do not fear in the consequences of my actions, nor do I submit to exterior forces that are produced by a collective of people. But I am willing, interested, accepting (but not mindlessly passive) and open in listening to a force of good that gives me strength, warmth and hope. By this attitude, I no longer want to be confined to past events that have haunted me by my own actions or by others, although it is false and too ideological to presume that memories can simply be "deleted" or forgotten. No, I won't be able to forget, but I can move on, and I think, emotion attached to memories can begin to dull it's effect.
I am interested in sociological and psychology philosophy and perspectives on religion, personality, society and the individual. I am currently working out and writing what I think about "Collective Individualism."
I'm also interested in history, and it's relevance in modern times.
Sociology and Politics
There doesn't seem much point to go too deep into politics, or put much or even little emotion to it. But I cannot help but think of the "what ifs" and alternative ways that politics can be more efficient and satisfying. I care little for the "game" of politics, I won't join the pawns jumping one square at a time and getting no where.Nor will I bother to conspire against the authority of the pieces in question. If I be honest, I find politics and chess quite boring, because they always use the same rules and in the end, the same thing happens. In chess, the game is always won in the certain way, and then the next game is won also, in a certain way. Politics does this too, it is always the same, the only difference is the colour that the player is playing behind. It is pointless to interfere. Instead, what is exciting, or at least, amusing to think of is new ways of making change, thinking "outside the chess board."
Sociology is still relevant and interesting, and I'd like to write about it sometime, and do my own research.
Some things never change. But it's okay to allow the things that you thought never would, or never could change happen, if at the end of the day, it would positively allow you to progress and explore concepts and ideas you never knew.
