Eyebrows

Even today, you are never forgotten.
You have been in thoughts and dreams,
regrets and wishes.
I hope one day we will be able to get back in touch. I just want to see how you are, talk like we used to, think of silly projects and share music. You always had the better taste of music though.
I don't want to argue or bring up the past. Especially not right now. You were a very close friend to me and I am still hurting. I thought by giving you the one chance to say something... It'd help me move on when I knew you'd refuse. I deleted your phone number. Most of the things we shared are gone. But that hasn't helped me at all. I miss you.
I just want to say hello. I just want to talk. Nothing serious. I want to you to know I'm still there for you. That the piano is too quiet without you. That I never opened a pack of cards I brought because it reminds me too much of you.
I want to share what has happened in my life. The good bits and the bad. Most of which I haven't bothered to share in this blog.
I want to know what has happened in your life. Again, the good and the bad. I want to know if there is anything I can do to support you or if there is anything we could talk about now and again... When we have the energy and the motivation.
I don't need instant communication. But a letter, an e-mail, some kind of message to confirm that one day we could get back in touch again.
It would be nice.

A discord of a friend.

Yet another new project

I have always wanted to make a comic so I thought I'd experiment a little bit. Introducing 'Azura', an historical fantasy romance drama. Yup...

This is meant to be a short comic hahaha
Which I am hoping to one day complete hehehe
I have a vague storyline in mind but is also restricted to the quality of my drawing, which evidently, is quite weak.

On one hand it is about Azura exploring the possible directions her life could have gone in. If that's anything to go by...

... But either way you should totally check out my efforts.

Interfaith opinions

In some forms of painting
you don't blend the colours
so every stroke is vibrant
and unique.
In some forms of painting
you don't blend the colours
yet together every stroke
makes an image that is whole.
Interfaith brings forth one artist
with a palette of many colours
of blues of reds of yellows
that sing solo notes
on solo strings
on one harp
to make a single masterpiece.
You don't blend the colours
the colours remain separate
but nevertheless are in harmony.

Jacket Potatoes

I have slowly become a little addicted to jacket potatoes.
I had an excellent conference call recently with freelance writers and journalists.
Feeling slightly more confident in pitching. Will have to give it a proper go.

The don't do list

My younger self would hate such a list. But I feel I need to start making a list of things I simply will no longer do as a rule. Here's a draft.

• Be far less open to most people. Trying to be an open person simply has not worked. The effort, the vulnerability, etc, is completely not worth the little gain, if any. Hiding things does not help either, so when I need to express things I'll use art instead of communicating.
• This includes expressing opinion. It's damn hard for me to do anyway and when I do the consequences are really negative.
• Start removing certain people from my life. If they are negative in my life or simply don't make any effort to talk to me, why should I allow them to keep in touch through social media?
• Don't talk to DelimHar. Ever. It's just not worth the hassle.

Gah.

There's a lot of words I want to flood onto the screen right now. But it'd just arrive in some kind of messy lump that won't mean anything. I am incredibly lonely but I don't have the energy to communicate. When I do there are misunderstandings. Needless to say, it's frustrating. I feel there's no real point in being here any more. I'm torn too many ways. Maybe it'd be best if I focused on one thing at a time, if I left all of this and lived in solitude?