Looking forward to today

Today doesn't seem it'll be that bad.
In fact, I'm quite looking forward to it!

My friend is picking me in her new car at half four today (I'll have to get ready after this post!) and we'll be going to the pub. Then later on I'll pick up my brother and eat Frankfurters, as according to the Hungarian tradition on New Years Eve! We'll play games and then go home. I'm quite excited about it.

I learnt that in the Netherlands they make apple fritters and something called Oliebol which is sometimes full of raisins. I'm not keen on raisins so I'll try making it without sometime. Perhaps, if I learn about a few other traditions, I'll adopt them all and make a lot of food next year. (Oh goodness, where will I be living next year?!)

There doesn't seem to be any British edible traditions. Nope, we just go to the pub and drink whatever we fancy. Maybe I'll contribute with my panna cotta or chocolate pancakes.
Chocolate pancakes are good!
Maybe I'll share the recipe sometime.

Wish

I would like to wake up and feel safe all day long at home.
I would like to not feel afraid every time the front door opens, every time I hear your footsteps come down stairs, every time you laugh.
I would like to be free.
I would like to be part of an old photograph, where we'd all smile and that darkness could be forgotten occasionally.
I would like at least one photograph of us all together.
I would like you to be kind.
I would like you to be thoughtful.
I would like to not feel the hate you give out.
I would like it not to affect me any more. Or anyone else. Even you.
I would like to tell you everything in words that would not insult you and sudden your rage.
I would like to stop being hurt. By everyone, everything. Including myself.
I would like to succeed.
I would like to stop wishing.

Christmas

Today is Christmas.

The day didn't go as badly as I feared, there were no tantrums and to be in the company of my family is a wonderful thing. On my mother's side, my family have a great sense of humour. My cousin/sister couldn't make it to the dinner today, she was ill, so it wasn't the same. You could tell the atmosphere was missing something.
I hope for a better Christmas next year.
Oh goodness next year.

I need to start fighting harder. I cannot let other's darkness infect my own. I must vanquish, conquer and defeat my own darkness. I must not fight it with one hand and beckon it to return with the other.

Cannot.

I dislike this. Christmas isn't fun any more. I want to be in Bath. I don't want to be here any more. Everything is so broken. We cannot fix anything. We are powerless. You take away our power. You give us nothing but silence. No methods. No reason. There is the tension, the spider's web, the clock without hands. The air is so thick we feel faint and then there is the fear.

Girl and the Dragon - Releasing a Demo soon?

I hope to release a demo of my game "Girl and the Dragon" soon, but there are a lot of things I've still got to do. These include:

• Fix enough bugs to make the game playable.
• Complete all the maps for the first tower.
• Complete first boss.
• Create skills for characters.
• Improve combat.

Depending on my spare time, perhaps there could be a small demo by February or March.

Being at home

I'm back home for the Christmas holidays. Back to reading and enjoying time with the family! Only I've been sat on the laptop for far too long, woops.

I've not yet started Christmas shopping. I go on that journey tomorrow.

I've started reading Sea Dragon Heir which so far seems to be about an evil angry fire kingdom against an innocent matriarchal water tribe kingdom who have lost their dragons, with sibling incest.
Not something I'd usually read but it's surprisingly well written at the moment and quite interesting.

I've been working on editing my novel for my creative writing dissertation. It's probably not the best time of day to do that... (It's 1am at the time of writing this.) I feel I'm only making my writing worse and unnatural. Aye, I'll do it tomorrow.

I'm also trying to get contacts for my religion dissertation. Hopefully that'll work out.

Who knows.

I'm tired.

Time to sleep. Busy day tomorrow.

The Girl and the Dragon progress

Recently I shared one of my rpg maker projects, The Girl and the Dragon. Here's a small update on what I've achieved so far.

• Completed designed first city. - With a huge 180 x 150 size. [In other words: Very large map. Never again!] The city has a simple design in line with the story. I look forward to making (much smaller) more attractive maps soon.
• Worked on the plot. So far, the player can play through half a day. (It took far too long to reach this...)
• Included voice acting - The dragon speaks!
• Officially 42 characters in the Database. 8 main ones.
• At least fourteen mini-stories can be found in the first city if the player wishes to find them.
• About fifteen minutes of game play if you're a "semi-curious gamer." - (My term for players who interact with some of the characters on the map but not all and don't explore very much/excessively.) Twenty for a curious gamer, and about thirty minutes if you try to interact with everyone.

Time for bed, I think.

The Girl and the Dragon

Recently I made a post about Little Cat which is a little game I have been working on for a while using a game designer program called RPG Maker VX. I quite enjoyed sharing my project on this blog, so I've decided to share another, this time made with the updated engine, RPG Maker VX Ace - which I have found much more efficient to use. This game is called The Girl and the Dragon and I've been working on this on/off since August, on average about eight/ten hours a month.

This is a character and decision driven RPG game with a firm story that has been pre-planned. The main character, "Aethelinda", is on a quest to free dragons from the 'forbidden realm' in return for gaining the powers and protection of a dragon. All she has to do is destroy fourteen towers that hold up 'heaven', and use her will to open a Timegate. Sounds simple right?

Only the dragon is evil, twisted and sinister, and there is a reason why the dragons are in the forbidden realm.

If they ever returned, all of humanity would be wiped out.

Surely then Aethelinda should not free the dragons then, you say? But if she doesn't, she will be dragged into the 'forbidden realm', lose any powers she once gained and return into Deaf-blindness. Alone. With a bunch of dragons.

Now before I go any further - This isn't in any way suggesting people in real life with Deaf-blindness are inferior. (Helen Keller anyone?) It''s just that everyone in Aethelinda's village suddenly vanished one day, leaving her alone. With no food or water, it was a matter of survival to promise to help the dragons.

This project is a challenge hoping to achieve the following.

• Create a badass main character.
• Include a multitude of major/minor characters with discoverable stories.
• Have a thorough main plot, with minor plots in the background - should the player wish to follow them.
• Include countless options/decisions the player can make, which in turn can change the ending of the game.
• Have cities, towns, countries identifiable by a unique culture. 
• Be a fun game to play.

I enjoy incorporating lots of 'mini-stories' into the game, but this has been very time consuming. I have had to make a 'maker's guide' with all the spoilers in only so I could keep up with all the minor characters and their names. If I ever release this game I'll probably include the guide too.

If you are not familiar with RPG Maker VX Ace, there is already a shop system and an expansive database where one can create items/armours/weapons (etc, etc!) for characters to use/equip in the game. I'm a big database fan, so it's been satisfying avoiding the pre-made data and make my own. I hope to make as much unique content as far as my skills allow. My next aim might be drawing and sharing concept art for my characters - of which I feel are the key stars in the game.

I hope to post about my both my rpgs in the near future.

Stay tuned!

House Viewing

Recently four strangers are viewing the property, loudly. With stamping feet and their camera flash. I am sure they are kind people, but it sickens me.

I hate house viewings.
I think I long for a semi-permenant place to live.

Reflection on the fake interpreter at the Nelson Mandela

Headlines in the UK have recently reported the bizare story of a fake sign language interpreter during the Nelson Mandela memorial.

I feel news has already covered many topics on this recent news. I'm not going to contribute to any speculations on who the interpreter is or anything about the secruity breach.

No, I am more interested in the response by the audience. Here are some facts.

• Despite the news story being relevant to a Deaf community, no subtitles are features on the relevant videos related to articles found on large news sites.
• During a radio interview, the interviewer asked the Deaf community to phone and give their views.
• Sign Interpretation has been given a spotlight. More people have become aware of sign interpreters.

 I feel perhaps, if any good can come of this, there should be a movement to give more access to a minority of people. The Deaf communicate in many different ways. In the UK, there is the technology. Sign interpretation and subtitles should be available for the Deaf.

Little Cat

 

About a year ago I started working on a little side project called 'Little Cat'. This is probably the most quirkiest project I'll be sharing on my blog - but possibly the most interesting for blog readers. Little Cat is a game made with RPG Maker VX, which focuses on a single main character. The idea is that you are thrown in a very perculiar world with no real guide or aid to help you. It is up to you as the player to decide how to play the game and how to progress the levels.

At the beginning Little Cat was meant to be a simple demonstration on what is possible to achieve with the most basic knowledge of 'eventing' - making events and switches for the player to interact with or to happen when triggered and/or automatically. Some of my friends were interested in the program, and I thought, well, I'll make a rounded easy to play demo.

One year later.

I enjoy making Little Cat because the world is weird. There are some common features in the game which the player will learn and make use with caution. Little Cat is a puzzle/exploration rpg with combat scenes. There is a story to the game, but it's up to the player to find out.

Little Cat also relies on the player's interest to be adventurous. There are currently different paths one can choose, and different type of dungeons to explore. Events on map are numerous if one is curious and perhaps brave enough to find out. Players would be recommended to save regularly.

At the moment the maps are very simple, but because of the level of interaction the player has with their environment, I'm not too concerned. I'm hoping for an overall 'artistic', 'themed' look. Something that will make me think "Yes, this map is in the style of Little Cat."

If players do not mind strange and random events and want an unusual game to pass the time, I will be posting about a demo soon.

While the maps, writing, and custom graphics are made by myself, the music is imported from other sources. Nevertheless, the file shouldn't reach any significant size.

Stay tuned!

Reflection

I'm meant to be somewhere else.
Instead I flick through old photos and videos and procrastinate from a potentially fun and happy evening.
I can see why others may define this as a potential logic fail. Nevertheless.

Some good things and some bad things have happened - things I should remember. I hope to update my blog more frequently with these things as best I can. I also just found my photos from my Hungarian holiday so finally I'll be able to make some decent posts about the country.

I wanted to write this post more than anything, to remind myself to update this blog more.

I am so tired.

I shall rest next week.

Nightmares

I can make decisions in my dreams and have varying degrees of weariness.

Still doesn't mean I am nightmare free.

Recently I had a dream about meeting two old friends who were giving me a lift in Bath. They took me away from a house party so we could "talk", and I remember not wanting to but I was too curious to see what they would say. Their hair was shockingly much longer. Not much happened, I woke myself up because it became too uncomfortable.

Despite more aggressive and violent dreams I've known myself to have, this was probably one of the worse for a while.

Adventure and Storytelling

So I've been travelling again recently which as usual has been a mix of exhaustion and adventure. On my travels home last Friday I received an "energy stone" and met kind (and possibly rather bored) travellers on an equally long journey as mine. I also weaved through many footballers, drunks and the usual busy Londoner through the tubes and towards the next station. I am to travel again actually - I should start packing now because I am to leave at quarter to nine and it is eight already. For some reason my heart feels light. If I were to breath in deep I feel it would lift upwards to my throat. Perhaps it's too soon to go back, or perhaps I know I'm too tired to be sane for their adventure.
I should get home about hmm, ten past two in the morning?
Recently I have interviewed a very nice man for my dissertation on religion, with other interviews booked ahead in time. Work is generally going fine, though I need to focus on my Japanese essay.
I'm thinking of a few things.
Firstly the need to become a storyteller. I have a very close brother and a cousin who is practically a sister that I see often when I am home. We were telling stories in the dark which made me realise - I didn't have any.
I used to know of a man who would be able to improvise off the bat and would probably comment on the lack of need for a 'prepared story'. I can improvise a plot, but never a story. A story needs adventure! Pace! Drama! Something I stumble on without a framework in place. So! I've decided to write some for the future. You never know when telling a good story will be handy.
My other thoughts are thinking of December. Christmas is coming soon, but I am not yet ready to acknowledge it nor dedicate any time. (Though watch out Noble House, I shall swarm it with decorations in due course!) For me, Christmas is not merely a period of "joy" but it is also the peek of frustrated, angry crowds, panic and stress. Kitchen staff get swamped by orders and work hours becoming even more demanding. I've noticed the cars in the road become more impatient too, and dare I mention the beginning of third year deadlines?
Oh boy.
I guess there's mixed feelings, but while I'm nervous about my travel home I look forward to the future.

Catch up

After not posting for a while, I thought it was time to clear the dust. I have quite a few blog ideas, so I'll try and update more regularly. It's more for my benefit than anyone elses' - I doubt anyone reads this anyway. Maybe Sticky'll check it now and then.

So what have I been up to? A heck of a lot of things has happened since my last post. I lost a friend, but in return I think they'll be happier. I've been looking after my mental health as much as possible because I do not want to swing into depression again. My friends have been fantastic in supporting me and we've cooked a lot together, taking in turns so no one is burdening the other and food is more varied because of it! I've needed sometime alone and perhaps its ironic I use some of it to update this blog, but ah well, doesn't matter. I can be hypocritical if I want because I have a cold, therefore I win. - Flu logic.

In other news I've been playing a lot of Magic The Gathering and I'm hoping to quickly build a blue Merfolk deck for a Tribal game. I signed up to NaNoWriMo in a desperate bid to motivate me to start a novel I needed to write for my degree anyway. So far I have 1190 words so only 48,810 more to go! I've been back and forth with illness of both a physical and mental nature, the physical this time obscenely worse which makes me desperate to try and at least do my part in keeping both natures in check. I've been cooking a lot when I can; stirfrys, pasta bakes, cakes, cookies, panna cotta, trifle, etc. It's been good fun and I know I'm healthier for it. I've been reading only a little, but mostly titles such as 'The Last Don' by Mario Puzo and on the other side, a book on contemporary Japanese religion. On my desk is the doctrine of Tenrikyo, and an interesting book called 'Some Spirits Heal, Others Only Dance' which I'm curious about. I will probably try to make more of an effort today now the house is notably quieter. I've been drawing now and then too, but unfortunately I've lost my memory cards so I cannot share anything. It's probably been a deflater for blog posts too, as I would love to show what I've been cooking but can't. Alas! I've also been making a game in RPG Maker VX Ace, and am wanting to learn the art of Blender when I have access to a faster laptop.

I've also found it helpful to use a nifty website called Getyedone which has helped me organise things I need to and motivate me to do more - especially things I especially don't want to do. If there any D&D'ers around or rpg gamers around you'll immediately understand the website. You sign up and make a 'character sheet' which can be a multitude of races and classes, and you start as level 1. To level up you gain exp for doing tasks of your own choosing. You choose to give yourself an amount of exp according to the difficulty of the task. It's nice to be competitive with friends and try to have the highest level while also gaining points in the type of tasks you've been doing - so, as I've been trying a lot of new recipes recently, I've gained a fair amount of points in 'cookery'. You can look at other player's character sheets and check out what skills they've gained points in, etc. It's interesting. I recommend readers to give it a go, especially if they're students. (Essay motivation!)

That's it for this post.

Food

Recently I've been trying to learn new recipes to encourage myself to:

• A) Eat healthier
• B) Eat more
• C) Feel like I could achieve something.

So far it's worked, but the project is now on stand still until I get better. From roast dinners to pudding, it's generally been a success (or so say the polite tasters), and I'd like to blog about my favourite recipes soon which probably include plum dumplings and melktert.

This reminds me to give a heads up to one of my favourite food/recipe blogs, Cakecrumbs. It is well photographed, well written, and the author/owner of the blog is generally interesting and very friendly. Well worth a visit if you're looking for things to bake next.

A wish

Dear friend,

I wish you were here. Easy thing to say I know, but. When you're not around, and I have this problem... Well, I hate to call it a problem. Or call it, it, in fact. But there is this situation, this stress, this concern, and I can't ask you any more to help me but I wish I could. You always made things clearer. I wondered how I spoilt you. I don't want to spoil anything else. Imperfect the rose and all that. But now you're not here, I don't know whether or not I'm spoiling another. Ruining. Hurting. Stamping on the flowers, blowing petals into the mud. It feels like you're just as distant as friends who have gone upstairs; found the password to a floor further up with the latch locked tight. Occasionally one might hear the music, but, there's no... Feeling. Touch. Sensation. It's just an emptiness. It feels like you are gone too. But you are not. You are with others, far, far away, on the same level but entirely distant. I mourn for you, but there is a kindness that you can live so freely and remain you. You is very important. Yourself is essential - fantastic, amazing. Never stop, please never stop being you.
But no matter how I reflect back, you're not here, and that's that. I can't ask you for your advice, no matter how good and relevant it'd be. I can't tell you that I care and remember you, I can't tell you how much I miss you, how I wish we could be in touch again, my dear friend.

Duolingo - Best free app for language on Andriod

Duolingo is a fun and creative app that is rather genius in it's way of teaching.

As described in the video above the app is free and the people behind it get money by students translating documents while they're learning. Not only is there reading and writing training, but there are listening based challenges as well which can be a little unclear to hear but useful in learning. It's a shame one can't switch listening based questions off as it not only excludes Deaf and hard of hearing users but also those who simply wish to learn how to read and write the language. When progress is dependent on listening it makes the app hard to use discreetly while travelling without earphones. Yet that's my only real complaint. The app is wonderful, and while the languages offered are currently europe-centric, by offering various free languages to learn for free in a single app without any adds and with a fun gaming element, it is defiantly a must-install for anyone interested in learning languages.

Ipswich

 

 

Ipswich is a quirky little town in the heart of Suffolk.

 

For example, check out the detail on the buildings.

 

 

I'd say this could be 'quirky'.

 

 

 

 

 



They are easy to not notice, but I like this subtleness in the town. Ipswich doesn't like to be too different after all. For example, there is the dry dock that the council recently poured a lot of money into.

 

 

 

 

But it's still in Ipswich so...

 

 

We have to put our little mark on it.

 

 

And then something different too. The TARDIS belongs to the Isaccs Pub. A busy and popular pub on the waterfront that's although its loud - is a nice place for most kinds of people to meet.

We have a fair good many pubs in fact.

And like most towns, we have graffiti, Ipswich style.

 

 

Just joking, we have more artistic artists too.

 

 

There's a lot more to the town, but I'm coming end to the photos I've took.

Until next time.

Friend

Still breaks my heart, you know. I miss you.

Osman Hamdi Bey

Since this blog has a little bit of everything, I thought it was about time I wrote a little about painters and paintings I admire. This is a small post about Osman Hamdi Bey's work.

 

 

Both of these paintings were done by the artist Osman Hamdi Bey. Not only did he create a variety of beautiful paintings, but he was also the founder of two museums in what is now Istanbul. As readers may know by now, I am particularly found of instruments, and I like the subtle-ness of the woodwind instrument behind the ladies back, the redness of the dress, the leaning forwards to greet the tortoise. I would love to see the painting live. In the second painting you see a woman reading the Qur'an. I like the religious connotations, the detail, the bright golden colour of her dress, her expression as she reads, the art in the background. The window in particular is wonderful.

 

I think in the future I will study Hamdi Bey's work and perhaps try to draw inspiration from it, though I have a feeling it'd be rather tricky.

Designing ahead

I've been feeling quite happy lately and have been enjoying my summer break. Spending time with friends and family has been great, and I have been learning here and there too. I'm currently planning to make a little game as a side project while I work on starting my third and final year of university. The game will be inspired by what I have learnt of Indonesia. I am going to design a new world based on the idea of multiple cultures and take inspiration from the interesting temple designs and symbols Indonesia has inherited. My research into the country has advanced since my last post.

I've also decided later on I'll be writing about something quite close to my heart yet potentially controversial to my friends and possibly even my family, though I hope I manage to be academic in my approach.

Also, I plan to review some games here and there, apps, write about more philosophers, books, le etc. I need to write about my excellent holiday in Hungary - which'll probably be in two posts with plenty of photography! Alas, I enjoy thinking about these small things ahead.

I've also written a horror story called Born to Learn. Do check it out if you have time.
That's it for personal life.

AdventureBar Story Lite

Time to update my blog with an app review. In this entry I will be reviewing AdventureBar Story Lite available on the Android.

This was quite an exciting app to test out for me, because I immediately recognised that the game was made using RPG Maker XP. I was curious how the 'bar' was involved, and was up for creative use of tiles, interesting characters and possibly some nice little boss fights. But did the app meet my expectations?

 

 

 

Yes and no. AdventureBar Story is defiantly a refreshing story-focused RPG, with light-hearted (if not damn cheesy) dialogue and a clear aim. To create an exceedingly good and profitable restaurant or 'bar', to prevent some blond dude in a purple suit stealing your home.

Sounds fair enough to me.



  



 

The maps are small which makes them good for tablet uses, yet they are pretty, creative and during towns leave little empty space. Overall, the game is astatically pleasing to the eye.



 



 

The game runs almost like a typical romance rpg - you can do a limited number actions each day. In this game, every time you open your bar, the day is over and you receive the profit (if you manage to make any!) from the sales you make. For the bar to make profit you need to sell food. To sell food, you need to make it, but first you need to find it.
In short, you go out in the morning, slay the monsters, and bring their flesh to the kitchen to boil into stew.
You with me?

Fighting is not too tiresome but repetitive - though most rpg fans will be willing to settle for the varied skills characters can learn from fighting monsters. Levelling takes place only when party members eat food - so one needs to be strategic about levelling up and keeping their bar profitable.

AdventureBar Story is the kind of game that you should feel guilty for playing, but you're too addicted to care.
The Lite version ends shortly after the tenth day which is quite the disappointment. It is not an overly complicated game, yet it is fun for what it is - a light hearted, adventure bar story indeed. For a one off £2.32, it seems good value for money in the app world. If I have a long journey ahead, I will consider unlocking the full game.

That's it for now, expect more app reviews in the future.

Bulbsaur no tail

I always thought Bulbasaur had a tail. But I was wrong. So wrong. In Bulbasaur and the Hidden Village you can clearly see an image of Bulbsaur's behind which lacks a tail. And that concludes this entry today.

Zen Judo

I was first introduced to Zen Judo by visiting the Trowbridge Zen Judo Club. Mike Healy runs the club as a non-profit, which is enjoyed by keen members of various levels and ages.

 

Since then I have found that Zen Judo is a beginner friendly art that aims to avoid competition. Mainstream Judo was founded by Jigoro Kano, and though he brought Judo to the UK in the 1920s, he did not want it to be associated with the Olympics. Nevertheless it did, making it the first Japanese Martial Art to become involved. Later on, in 1974 Dominick McCarthy founded Zen Judo, striving to avoid the competitive side of mainstream Judo, most likely sharing Kano's fears that it would ruin the art.

He also happened to teach Mike Healy.

Trowbridge Zen Judo Club is also associated with the International Gentle Arts Society, which holds events for various different kinds of 'Gentle Art' which they define as traditional and a 'non-sport' -  Competitive success is not meant to be the ultimate or primary goal of achieving promotions.

Learning about the club has inspired me to learn more about martial arts as a whole, and well, you never know. Maybe you'll see me there joining in next time too.