How to "read" people - The basic basics: Do's and Don'ts

A very basic 'basics' on how to "read" people. This is written very simply, most likely for a much younger audience than perhaps, my actual readers. (Most likely, because I don't really know what I am talking about.) I guess this could be more of a simple guide to conversation rather than reading, but I enjoyed writing in the sarcasm here, so I'll just apologise now and publish.

(Perhaps I shouldn't write posts at half one in the morning...)

When reading people, don't force the Sherlock.

What I mean by this:

Don't over complicate things unnecessarily. You may notice strange habits, and want to fit a story into it, but this can be a mistake, and you may be over dramatising the situation. It can be fun using imagination - looking at the passerby on the street and wanting to guess their entire live story - but remember, you're guessing! In reality, when facts are so limited, statistically, you're never going to get it right. Which leads nicely onto the next point...

Statistics can be useful.

What I mean by this:

People are called people because a person can be quite alike with another person. People do similar things. Similar habits. Statistically, if you find one similar habit means a certain thing, or if you find when you say something, people react a similar way - you can work with that statistic. It's not foolproof, or save, but it can help.
People are individuals after all.

Leave the magnifying glass behind or Don't force the Sherlock 2

What I mean by this:

Also, when you spot certain things, think about the quality of information you have received. When your friend changes their butter from 'Utterly Butterly' to 'Clover' - by the time you've invented a nifty story about how they're feeling - they've left! And you've got zilch. Which, leads me onto another point, why the heck don't you just ask them anyway?

Talking and being direct is the best way to gain knowledge.

What I mean by this:

If you think about it, it's kind of creepy if you're just watching your friends and don't actually try to communicate with them. If you want to know something, ask. Don't presume, don't second guess, don't will them to give away a clue. Just ask. If you're friend is honest, they will tell you. If they are hiding something, then perhaps, it may possibly be for the best?
10 % of communication is done verbally. You may have heard advice from others to watch out for all that give away body language.
Actually, you're already doing that subconsciously. Sometimes, it's the words, (sometimes the slip ups!) that give you the important information. Which leads onto...

LISTEN. LISTEN. LISTEN. DANG WELL MAKE SURE TO LISTEN.

What I mean by this:

Sometimes, people need someone to talk to and they choose you. Listen. What they tell you is specifically important, and if you ever want to read or understand people - it is a given that you must listen to what they say. Listening is your best ally, and can help put you in a good advantage. It's a bit sneaky, but sometimes, listening or overhearing/watching can also be very helpful in understanding people.
Imagine a child that listens and remembers those conversations between the adults at dinner. The child catches that Aunt Pat didn't like Nanny Pauline's parsnips. In fact, Aunt Pat always complains about Pauline's food, - but not to Pauline herself, and has, on occasion, said she quite likes parsnips. So, most likely, Aunt Pat probably just doesn't really like Nanny Pauline - but not only that, there is still a feud, still an active effort to dislike Nanny Pauline. The child watches how others react to Aunt Pat. Lets say, they all sigh and move the conversation quickly - perhaps, they've had enough of Aunt Pat, and they see the feud as pointless and empty. That's a lot of information that child has gained just by watching, and listening.

Knowing when to talk and when to listen is an important key skill to have.  It is essential to practice this.

Once, when I was studying Buddhism, I happened to find myself sitting in the middle of a seminar lead by a monk. We were given the task to pair up with the rest of the students, and have one speaker, one listener. It's an interesting exercise, just to listen to someone, yet not utter a single word, not even to reassure that you are listening. Sometimes, the speakers found it difficult to talk for the allocated time, but others found it easier and enjoyed speaking. Despite the different types of speakers, each listener gained significant information from their partner, despite never meeting or speaking to them before in their lives.

To listen before talking, would probably help you know what to talk about. Try to watch when they want to say something important, sometimes, they will look for you to change the subject, or interrupt with your own views, etc. But if you focus on listening, your speaker will most likely add more detail, and thus, further your understanding, helping your "reading".