Looking forward to today

Today doesn't seem it'll be that bad.
In fact, I'm quite looking forward to it!

My friend is picking me in her new car at half four today (I'll have to get ready after this post!) and we'll be going to the pub. Then later on I'll pick up my brother and eat Frankfurters, as according to the Hungarian tradition on New Years Eve! We'll play games and then go home. I'm quite excited about it.

I learnt that in the Netherlands they make apple fritters and something called Oliebol which is sometimes full of raisins. I'm not keen on raisins so I'll try making it without sometime. Perhaps, if I learn about a few other traditions, I'll adopt them all and make a lot of food next year. (Oh goodness, where will I be living next year?!)

There doesn't seem to be any British edible traditions. Nope, we just go to the pub and drink whatever we fancy. Maybe I'll contribute with my panna cotta or chocolate pancakes.
Chocolate pancakes are good!
Maybe I'll share the recipe sometime.

Wish

I would like to wake up and feel safe all day long at home.
I would like to not feel afraid every time the front door opens, every time I hear your footsteps come down stairs, every time you laugh.
I would like to be free.
I would like to be part of an old photograph, where we'd all smile and that darkness could be forgotten occasionally.
I would like at least one photograph of us all together.
I would like you to be kind.
I would like you to be thoughtful.
I would like to not feel the hate you give out.
I would like it not to affect me any more. Or anyone else. Even you.
I would like to tell you everything in words that would not insult you and sudden your rage.
I would like to stop being hurt. By everyone, everything. Including myself.
I would like to succeed.
I would like to stop wishing.

Christmas

Today is Christmas.

The day didn't go as badly as I feared, there were no tantrums and to be in the company of my family is a wonderful thing. On my mother's side, my family have a great sense of humour. My cousin/sister couldn't make it to the dinner today, she was ill, so it wasn't the same. You could tell the atmosphere was missing something.
I hope for a better Christmas next year.
Oh goodness next year.

I need to start fighting harder. I cannot let other's darkness infect my own. I must vanquish, conquer and defeat my own darkness. I must not fight it with one hand and beckon it to return with the other.

Cannot.

I dislike this. Christmas isn't fun any more. I want to be in Bath. I don't want to be here any more. Everything is so broken. We cannot fix anything. We are powerless. You take away our power. You give us nothing but silence. No methods. No reason. There is the tension, the spider's web, the clock without hands. The air is so thick we feel faint and then there is the fear.

Girl and the Dragon - Releasing a Demo soon?

I hope to release a demo of my game "Girl and the Dragon" soon, but there are a lot of things I've still got to do. These include:

• Fix enough bugs to make the game playable.
• Complete all the maps for the first tower.
• Complete first boss.
• Create skills for characters.
• Improve combat.

Depending on my spare time, perhaps there could be a small demo by February or March.

Being at home

I'm back home for the Christmas holidays. Back to reading and enjoying time with the family! Only I've been sat on the laptop for far too long, woops.

I've not yet started Christmas shopping. I go on that journey tomorrow.

I've started reading Sea Dragon Heir which so far seems to be about an evil angry fire kingdom against an innocent matriarchal water tribe kingdom who have lost their dragons, with sibling incest.
Not something I'd usually read but it's surprisingly well written at the moment and quite interesting.

I've been working on editing my novel for my creative writing dissertation. It's probably not the best time of day to do that... (It's 1am at the time of writing this.) I feel I'm only making my writing worse and unnatural. Aye, I'll do it tomorrow.

I'm also trying to get contacts for my religion dissertation. Hopefully that'll work out.

Who knows.

I'm tired.

Time to sleep. Busy day tomorrow.

The Girl and the Dragon progress

Recently I shared one of my rpg maker projects, The Girl and the Dragon. Here's a small update on what I've achieved so far.

• Completed designed first city. - With a huge 180 x 150 size. [In other words: Very large map. Never again!] The city has a simple design in line with the story. I look forward to making (much smaller) more attractive maps soon.
• Worked on the plot. So far, the player can play through half a day. (It took far too long to reach this...)
• Included voice acting - The dragon speaks!
• Officially 42 characters in the Database. 8 main ones.
• At least fourteen mini-stories can be found in the first city if the player wishes to find them.
• About fifteen minutes of game play if you're a "semi-curious gamer." - (My term for players who interact with some of the characters on the map but not all and don't explore very much/excessively.) Twenty for a curious gamer, and about thirty minutes if you try to interact with everyone.

Time for bed, I think.

The Girl and the Dragon

Recently I made a post about Little Cat which is a little game I have been working on for a while using a game designer program called RPG Maker VX. I quite enjoyed sharing my project on this blog, so I've decided to share another, this time made with the updated engine, RPG Maker VX Ace - which I have found much more efficient to use. This game is called The Girl and the Dragon and I've been working on this on/off since August, on average about eight/ten hours a month.

This is a character and decision driven RPG game with a firm story that has been pre-planned. The main character, "Aethelinda", is on a quest to free dragons from the 'forbidden realm' in return for gaining the powers and protection of a dragon. All she has to do is destroy fourteen towers that hold up 'heaven', and use her will to open a Timegate. Sounds simple right?

Only the dragon is evil, twisted and sinister, and there is a reason why the dragons are in the forbidden realm.

If they ever returned, all of humanity would be wiped out.

Surely then Aethelinda should not free the dragons then, you say? But if she doesn't, she will be dragged into the 'forbidden realm', lose any powers she once gained and return into Deaf-blindness. Alone. With a bunch of dragons.

Now before I go any further - This isn't in any way suggesting people in real life with Deaf-blindness are inferior. (Helen Keller anyone?) It''s just that everyone in Aethelinda's village suddenly vanished one day, leaving her alone. With no food or water, it was a matter of survival to promise to help the dragons.

This project is a challenge hoping to achieve the following.

• Create a badass main character.
• Include a multitude of major/minor characters with discoverable stories.
• Have a thorough main plot, with minor plots in the background - should the player wish to follow them.
• Include countless options/decisions the player can make, which in turn can change the ending of the game.
• Have cities, towns, countries identifiable by a unique culture. 
• Be a fun game to play.

I enjoy incorporating lots of 'mini-stories' into the game, but this has been very time consuming. I have had to make a 'maker's guide' with all the spoilers in only so I could keep up with all the minor characters and their names. If I ever release this game I'll probably include the guide too.

If you are not familiar with RPG Maker VX Ace, there is already a shop system and an expansive database where one can create items/armours/weapons (etc, etc!) for characters to use/equip in the game. I'm a big database fan, so it's been satisfying avoiding the pre-made data and make my own. I hope to make as much unique content as far as my skills allow. My next aim might be drawing and sharing concept art for my characters - of which I feel are the key stars in the game.

I hope to post about my both my rpgs in the near future.

Stay tuned!

House Viewing

Recently four strangers are viewing the property, loudly. With stamping feet and their camera flash. I am sure they are kind people, but it sickens me.

I hate house viewings.
I think I long for a semi-permenant place to live.

Reflection on the fake interpreter at the Nelson Mandela

Headlines in the UK have recently reported the bizare story of a fake sign language interpreter during the Nelson Mandela memorial.

I feel news has already covered many topics on this recent news. I'm not going to contribute to any speculations on who the interpreter is or anything about the secruity breach.

No, I am more interested in the response by the audience. Here are some facts.

• Despite the news story being relevant to a Deaf community, no subtitles are features on the relevant videos related to articles found on large news sites.
• During a radio interview, the interviewer asked the Deaf community to phone and give their views.
• Sign Interpretation has been given a spotlight. More people have become aware of sign interpreters.

 I feel perhaps, if any good can come of this, there should be a movement to give more access to a minority of people. The Deaf communicate in many different ways. In the UK, there is the technology. Sign interpretation and subtitles should be available for the Deaf.

Little Cat

 

About a year ago I started working on a little side project called 'Little Cat'. This is probably the most quirkiest project I'll be sharing on my blog - but possibly the most interesting for blog readers. Little Cat is a game made with RPG Maker VX, which focuses on a single main character. The idea is that you are thrown in a very perculiar world with no real guide or aid to help you. It is up to you as the player to decide how to play the game and how to progress the levels.

At the beginning Little Cat was meant to be a simple demonstration on what is possible to achieve with the most basic knowledge of 'eventing' - making events and switches for the player to interact with or to happen when triggered and/or automatically. Some of my friends were interested in the program, and I thought, well, I'll make a rounded easy to play demo.

One year later.

I enjoy making Little Cat because the world is weird. There are some common features in the game which the player will learn and make use with caution. Little Cat is a puzzle/exploration rpg with combat scenes. There is a story to the game, but it's up to the player to find out.

Little Cat also relies on the player's interest to be adventurous. There are currently different paths one can choose, and different type of dungeons to explore. Events on map are numerous if one is curious and perhaps brave enough to find out. Players would be recommended to save regularly.

At the moment the maps are very simple, but because of the level of interaction the player has with their environment, I'm not too concerned. I'm hoping for an overall 'artistic', 'themed' look. Something that will make me think "Yes, this map is in the style of Little Cat."

If players do not mind strange and random events and want an unusual game to pass the time, I will be posting about a demo soon.

While the maps, writing, and custom graphics are made by myself, the music is imported from other sources. Nevertheless, the file shouldn't reach any significant size.

Stay tuned!

Reflection

I'm meant to be somewhere else.
Instead I flick through old photos and videos and procrastinate from a potentially fun and happy evening.
I can see why others may define this as a potential logic fail. Nevertheless.

Some good things and some bad things have happened - things I should remember. I hope to update my blog more frequently with these things as best I can. I also just found my photos from my Hungarian holiday so finally I'll be able to make some decent posts about the country.

I wanted to write this post more than anything, to remind myself to update this blog more.

I am so tired.

I shall rest next week.