The Next Post, and life.

I can't say things have been entirely smooth.
But it certainly has been interesting.

I have recently recieved an e-mail about an art/creative writing project about writing a letter to my "past self", and it comes at a time when there are things left unsaid, and things I've never even dared mention to others because of fear, or not being able to get others to listen. I watch and I can hear the silent 'whys' around me, and the burning, gaining anger when there are questions others never ask. Through either my fault or from the other side, it has caused seperation, confusion, even at times, losing close friends. It has also caused a lot of anxiety, because I can sometimes be desperate, and clingy. I don't want to lose people because of faults I cannot control. But I have to learn that I must accept this, and those who can accept me and my habits are true and healthy for me, and I can be true and healthy to them too. A while ago, I told someone who I loved dearly about my illness, and as it turned out, everything was fine, although I was convinced my illness would inevitably cause people to turn away. After that event, it later turned others away, but although it hurt, I am going to try not to be afraid anymore. I am going to write this letter, and I'm going to post this on my blog and see what happens. All I can hope for is to achieve some kind of understanding.

Also, this post sounds incredibly cheesy and I really do apologise. I'm round my 'Uncle's house, with two other really good mates, listening to metal covers with cans of strongbow, plenty of vodka and a monsterous pizza sandwich with doner kebab meat inbetween. So yeah.

Sowwie.

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